


Security

by ecofriendlyalien



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mild Angst, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Platonic rochu, Rochu, Shopping, midnight adventures, touch starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 07:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecofriendlyalien/pseuds/ecofriendlyalien
Summary: "Do you want to go shopping with me?" Is a innocent enough question. A little less so when the question is asked at Midnight by your friend who randomly tends to show up at your house without notice.Russia and China go shopping together! Minor Rusliet implied, mainly focused on platonic Rochu.





	Security

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! A quick fic that I hardly put any effort into. I honestly don't know what universe this is set in, probably a human au, it doesn't matter it's a one-shot! 
> 
> content warnings!! in the middle there is implied/referenced self harm, if you wish to avoid it it happens around the dressing room area, it's nothing graphic!

“Come shopping with me.” 

“What?” 

This wasn’t the first time Ivan had shown up at Yao’s house in the middle of the night. Probably wasn’t going to be the last time. He had a tendency to just pop up unannounced, he thought nothing of it but everyone else had a hard time adjusting to seeing the 6’2” man creeping up to their windows at 2am. 

Yao was just more used to it than anyone else because this happened at least once a week. Ivan would go on spontaneous ‘adventures’, often asking Yao to tag along! Yao had nothing better to do. 

So here Ivan was, around midnight on a Tuesday, staring down at Yao with an eager expression. 

“Come shopping with me!” Ivan repeated, “I am bored, and in needing of food. You come with me!” 

I’m bored usually translated to I’m lonely in Ivan’s language of emotional repression. So without much of a thought Yao just shrugged then nodded. 

“Sure why not! I’m out of some stuff here too. Can I get dressed first or am I going in my pajamas?” 

“Sure you can change! Be quick, do not be keeping me waiting! Or else!”

A statement like that would usually bring anyone else the creeps, but Yao knew Ivan well enough to know that the man wouldn’t hurt a fly unless the fly pulled a knife on him. He didn’t like violence, in fact violence upset him, Ivan just had a really interesting way of expressing himself. 

Ivan followed Yao into his home, his heavy winter boots smacking against the hardwood floor making Yao sigh slightly. He was going to have to clean the mud Ivan must be tracking in! He ignored his mild irritation and just headed upstairs, changing out of his sleepwear into something more casual. Just a simple olive green hoodie and some baggy basket ball shorts. It was midnight, he was tired, and he wasn’t going to dress to the nines to go to Walmart with Ivan who was undoubtedly just wearing a tank top under his winter jacket. 

The man always dressed like he was freezing cold, maybe he was anemic? Yao just shrugged off the thought before going back downstairs where Ivan was sitting on his couch playing with his cat. Ivan was holding the corner of his scarf, pulling it up and down in a playful fashion while the calico cat swatted at it. Ivan was grinning like a big idiot, making coo’ing noises and giggling slightly. 

“Ready?” Yao asked, a small affectionate smile adorning his lips. 

“Of course! Is you who is wasting time.” Ivan said, his wide mouth grin dropping to just a smile from cheek to cheek. 

Yao rolled his eyes, slightly shaking his head as Ivan stood up from his seat. He gently pushed the cat off his lap, readjusted his scarf, and off they went. Yao drove, while it was Ivan’s car Ivan preferred shotgun unless he was forced to drive. 

The drive was short, only a ten minute drive from Yao’s home since he lived in a pretty suburby’ area. The entire way there Ivan was quiet, seemingly zoned out as they drove. He responded when Yao spoke but his eyes were always locked to the road from outside his window. 

\--- 

“So what is it exactly you wanted to pick up?” Yao asked as he watched Ivan grab a shopping cart. 

“Mostly vodka, I am running low.” 

Of course that was it. Yao nodded, following his friend as they turned down the first isle. The store was mostly empty, the few people who were there were too stoned to care about anything, or employees, or both. Yao and Ivan pretty much had full run of the place. 

“Do you want to get in the cart?” Ivan asked, looking at Yao with his usual smile. 

Yao squinted at him for a moment, disbelief on his features. Was this a serious offer? Or was Ivan making fun of him for being small, like a child. His continued squinting, eyes locked with Ivan’s who continued to just smile, waiting for a response. 

“Yes of course I want to get into the cart.” 

Ivan grinned and without a word he lifted up Yao who shrieked in surprise. Why was Ivan so strong? Why was he so tall? What the fuck?? Ivan lifted him with ease and plopped him into the large part of the cart. The cart swayed where it stood causing Yao’s knees to give out and he crumpled onto the floor of the cart, adjusting himself he sat criss cross. 

“You are good?” Ivan questioned, still grinning, obviously finding it funny that Yao was having a hard time. 

“Of course, now start pushing. We don’t have all night!” 

Ivan laughed aloud and grabbed the back of the cart, pushing it down the isle. 

\--- 

The two of them were mostly wandering. While there were things Ivan mentioned needing, like bread, stuff like that, the two mostly just wanted something to do. So they wandered. 

Ivan’s first stop was the liquor isle, shelves of rum and vodka and other assorted drinks lined the isle. Ivan went straight for the clear liquid in the straight glass bottle. 

“What do you think? Unflavored?” 

“Get the lemonade flavored one.” Yao suggested. 

“Never had that one before, I don’t know if I’ll like it.” 

“Its ten dollars, you’re not breaking any bank by buying it.” 

Ivan turned his head from one corner of the isle to the next, all the while Yao looked at him increasingly confused. 

“Ivan wha-.” 

Before Yao could finish his question Ivan had grabbed the lid of the vodka bottle and twisted it off with one swift motion. Yao’s jaw hit the ground as he watched Ivan upturn the bottle and start drinking the vodka straight. Ivan chugged three- four times- before finally lowering his head, he pulled the bottle away from his lips with a loud breath. With a shaky hand he reached up, covering his mouth for a second, then pulled away and nodded. 

“Yeah, tastes okay.” He said, giving Yao a thumb up. 

Yao was absolutely flabbergasted, his mouth still open from the shock. Ivan capped the vodka and put it in the cart, then grabbed several more off the shelf, putting those in the cart as well. 

“Ivan, what the fuck?” 

“What? I wanted to try it. Know if I want more than one bottle!” 

“And- what?? If you didn’t like it you were just going to put it back?” 

“No, I’d buy it, am not a dick.” 

“You are an absolute mad man.” 

Ivan shrugged, a sloppy grin on his features as he began pushing the cart again, a little more sway in his step. 

\--- 

 

“What are you thinking of this shirt?” Ivan held a bright yellow shirt up to his frame. Yao gave it a glance, nodding softly. 

“Yellow suits you, yeah. Grab that one for me.” 

Yao pointed to a red tank top with a lion on it. Ivan grabbed it from its place on the clothing rack and then handed it to Yao who was still sitting in the cart, which at this point had been filled with vodka, noodles, and junk food. He grabbed the tank top from Ivan and held it up, looking at it in more detail. 

“These clothes are so cheap, almost worth looking like a hobo.” 

Ivan snorted at that, grabbing another shirt to look at. 

“I like this, not sure if it will fit though.” Ivan mused. He was holding up a t-shirt, it was plain white except for a small sunflower that was protruding out of the breast pocket. Ivan did have his thing for sunflowers. He looked at it longingly, then he looked at it in reference to his body, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You can always try it on, the changing room is that way.” Yao pointed to a sign on the ceiling. Sure enough they found the dressing room. Unsurprisingly given the time of the night, it was closed. Ivan looked upset for only a moment, then he began unbuttoning his jacket. 

Yao didn’t say anything, momentarily confused into silence by this action. Ivan pulled off the thick winter jacket he was wearing to reveal a grey sweat-shirt under his coat. He threw the jacket into the cart and it landed right on top of Yao whose cries of protest were muffled by the fabric. He eventually got the coat off him just in time to see Ivan pulling off the sweat-shirt. 

The fact that Ivan was now shirtless in front of him should have been the most disturbing part about this. Or maybe the fact that now Ivan was trying on that shirt he had been looking at earlier, right out in public where anyone could see him. But no, the thing that had Yao in a twist was the amount of injuries his friend had. 

He knew his friend had scars. He got them from many things! Accidents, other people, himself. So it didn’t surprise him to see the red and white scars all up and down his body, however it did surprise him just how many there were. His stomach lurched seeing how many fresh thin red lines were going up and down Ivan’s wrists. Don’t stare idiot; don’t make this into an issue. He diverted his eyes to the ground until he heard Ivan speak. 

“Ta-da! What are we thinking now?” Ivan gestured to the outfit with a nervous smile. 

Stare anywhere but his arms, stare anywhere but his arms- He focused eye contact with Ivan to an uncomfortable degree. 

“It looks great! I like it!” He forced a wide smile which Ivan returned, obviously not picking up just how sick to his stomach Yao now was. 

With that Ivan took off the shirt, balling it up he threw it into the cart right onto Yao’s lap. He put back on the grey sweat shirt, but didn’t bother with the winter jacket. Yao had gotten an anxiety spike so intense he could hardly comprehend anything that was going on. It shouldn’t be such a shock that Ivan had scars like that. He knew Ivan had a problem with hurting himself, but whenever the topic came up Ivan would usually change the subject. Should he try talking to him about it? Ivan would just get upset, he always did. Yao wanted to help him but how could you help someone who didn’t even think there was a problem! 

He took a deep breath, its fine! Just don’t make a huge deal out of it. Talk to him later. It’s okay. 

“Oh look how cute that is! Suits you very much!” Ivan’s excited tone was what broke Yao free from his own mind. He blinked rapidly, his eyes darting over to where Ivan was pointing. The man was pointing at a hoodie that was on display, a black and white hoodie with panda ears attached to the hood. 

“I need that, Ivan I need that.” Yao said, excitement suddenly distracting him from whatever he had just been thinking about. 

\--- 

The two of them continued around the store, wandering aimlessly through the isles. Eventually they ended up in the section with art supplies, vivid colored paints and cheaply made brushes were littered through the thin hallway. 

Surprisingly there was a man in that isle, brown hair tucked behind his ear as he picked up a sketch book. He flipped through the pages, feeling the paper before setting it down and picking up another. Yao was jerked forward as Ivan suddenly stopped pushing the cart, then he was pushed to the side as Ivan turned the cart straight around and scurried into the next isle. 

“What was that about?” Yao turned his head to look at his friend. Ivan’s face was bright red and he paused in the next isle to pull his scarf up in an attempt to cover his beet red cheeks. 

“What was what?” Ivan said quickly, his voice flustered. 

“Don’t bullshit, you ran away like a bitch when you saw that guy.” Yao was suppressing a small smile on his features. He was curious as to who could elicit such a reaction out of his friend. 

“Oh what? Him? Nothing. He was just!” Ivan was grappling with his words, his tone hushed so no one but Yao could hear him.   
“We just used to be roommates, that is all.” 

“Roommates huh?” Yao smirked, the sudden realization making him smile so slyly.   
“You’re so red right now. Do you have a crush on him or something?” 

Somehow Ivan’s face went redder and he stopped the cart again making Yao jerk forward. 

“What? Me? Having a crush?! You are ridiculous, I’m not 12. Is just… hot in here” 

“Then you’ll have no problem introducing me to him then?” 

Ivan’s face fell and he pierced his lips. The algorithms formed around his head and he weighed his options. It was kind of funny how Yao could see Ivan doing the math in his head as he decided which would be the worse option. 

“Fine.” He said finally. He tried to shrug like he was completely chill about the idea, but the fact that his face was locked in a frown betrayed his real feelings. Without any other word Ivan turned the cart around, heading back into the art supplies isle. 

The man was still there, bright green eyes still scanning the isle over the sketchbooks. Yao turned to look at Ivan who again was glowing a soft red in his cheeks. 

“Oh hello! Fancy seeing you here!” Ivan’s words were loud; forcing himself to seem surprised as if he didn’t know the man was there.   
The man jumped, somehow startled despite the fact that the store was mostly silent and it would have been very easy to hear the two of them coming. 

“O-oh! Ivan it’s you!” The man said, he had a quiet voice and his posture was straight, but he seemed rather on edge. It struck Yao as slightly odd that this was the guy Ivan would have a crush on. Ivan didn’t come across as the kind of guy who would fall for someone who seemed so serious. Yao had known Ivan for a really long time, but in all that time Ivan had never once talked about his romantic endeavors. 

“Of course, who else would I be?” 

The man took a second to consider that, eyebrows furrowing in confusion at Ivan’s odd words. 

“Yes… I guess you’re right.” The man was quick to agree even if he sounded unsure.

His green eyes flickered down to the basket that Yao was sitting in and again his eyebrows furrowed, confusion obvious on his features.

“Who’s this?” 

Yao gave the man a peace sign as a greeting, a wide smile on his cheeks. This was better than a soap opera. It was great watching Ivan trying to stay calm while the green eyed man looked nervously between the two of them. 

“My name is Wang Yao!” He introduced himself. 

“It is nice to be meeting you! Sorry I didn’t notice you earlier, you’re just kind of- uh- down there.” 

“Are you calling me short?” 

The man squirmed uncomfortably, “no! I meant down there as in- In the cart you know- sorry- uh, I’m Toris, by the way.” 

“What are you doing here this late?” Ivan asked, trying to change the subject away from Yao. 

“I’m getting some stuff together; I wanted to make a journal to keep track of all the stuff I need to do. Kind of like a bullet journal but I was wanting less colors and doodles ‘yaknow?” Toris seemed excited by something so mundane. Whereas before he seemed slightly nervous he was now perked up by the idea of making what was essentially a planner. 

“That is good! Is good to be keeping track of that, you were always so organized.” Ivan mused. If it were anyone else they wouldn’t have been able to tell how much adoration was in Ivan’s tone. Yao had known Ivan long enough to know the little subtleties of his usual cheerful monotone. 

“Yes well, Feliks is kind of a mess so I have to compensate for that!” 

Just like with the tone of voice, it was hard to read Ivan’s face, so at these words to anyone else things would seem completely normal. But Yao could tell something was off. His eyes flickered to his friends face to see the ever so slightest change in his expression. His jaw was tighter, his smile more forced. 

“Oh, so you are with Feliks now?” Ivan asked. 

Yao was surprised to see Toris react nervously to this. He guessed it made sense, if they had been roommates maybe he had picked up on Ivan’s tones as well. 

“Yes well, we’re roommate that is all!” He said quickly. He raised his hands in a waving motion as if to deflect any suspicion with his flapping hands. 

“No! I am happy for you two, he better be treating you well or I will kill him!” Ivan grinned from ear to ear in a closed eye smile. Yao watched Toris pale at this. He opened his mouth as if to say more but nothing came out, too nervous to speak. 

“Well, I am to be going now! It was nice seeing you again!” With that Ivan pushed the cart forward, a little too quickly to be normal, and started walking down the next isle. 

“Ivan.” Yao flipped himself around in the cart so he could be facing Ivan as he walked. 

“You okay?” Concern was obvious in his tone. 

“Okay? Of course I am okay! Why would I not be okay?” 

“You seem not okay.” 

“We are to be changing the subject now! Thanks!” Ivan’s voice was uneven and the way his fingers were ghostly white gripping the handle of the shopping cart it was so very obvious that he was shaken. Yao knew better than to press Ivan because he had a tendency to just straight up leave if overwhelmed, so Yao stayed quiet sitting in the cart as Ivan continued to aimlessly push them around. 

It was uncomfortable for a while, the only sound coming from the wheels of the cart and other people in the store. 

“Want to go the toy section and make fun of stuff?” Yao piped up. 

Ivan’s frown broke and a small smile spread across his features again. 

“Absolutely.” 

\--- 

Yao wanted out of the cart. The amount of junk food and vodka in the cart was squishing his legs and he could only sit still for so long. Ivan helped him out, offering an arm for Yao to steady himself as he jumped out of the cart. 

He hopped down with a grunt as he steadied his shaking legs. 

“Okay, let’s see what kind of stuff they’re selling to our youths.” 

“You are saying that like you are not youth.” 

“Ivan I’m older than you.” 

“Yes but you are oh so very small! Is easy to mistake you for child!”

Yao’s face went bright red and his voice went up five octaves, “FIGHT ME.” He squeaked indignantly. 

“I would never hit a child!” 

Yao turned around to face Ivan, lifting a fist in the air and dramatically acting as if he was holding back from punching his smug face. Ivan on the other hand was grinning like an idiot. It was good that he was feeling better, but at what cost? 

The two of them laughed together, Yao dropping his hand as he wandered away to a nearby shelf. 

“Hey, Ivan?” He called over to his friend who turned from where he was to join him. 

“Is this Feliks?” 

Yao picked up a doll off the shelf, showing it to Ivan. The head of the doll had been pressed in, the eye rolled back in the dolls head and one of the hands was missing. No doubt a child had been left alone and played a little too rough with this poor misshapen doll. 

Ivan let out a loud snorting laugh, his hand raised to mouth to cover his smile as he cackled. Yao started laughing as well; Ivan’s giggles enough to make his own come out. 

The two of them continued pointing out ugly toys in the isle, comparing them to people who had done them wrongs. All the while laughing and giggling. 

It was nice to see Ivan like this, Yao thought. He was always so stressed out, he would hardly talk about it but it was easy to see. Yao’s mind wandered back to the dressing room, the thin lines on Ivan’s arms, his chest clenched. He eyed Ivan’s arms, as if hoping he’d look and see that the amount he had seen before was just a figment of his imagination. Yet of course there was nothing, his arms were covered with grey fabric from the sweatshirt. Yao’s anxiety spiked when he realized the sweatshirt had stretchy bands sown on the wrists, stopping it from riding up and exposing skin. Was it just him or was it always so hot in this store? 

He took a deep breath, shaking his head. This was something he would have to talk about with him at another time. Right now it was fun, no need to bring down this air with talks of… whatever was happening. 

\--- 

The two of them decided to head out, the store was closing soon and they didn’t want to be the last ones out. The cart had been filled with vodka, junk food, and some random assortment of clothing items. After all was paid for and put in the trunk of Ivan’s car the two of them set off. 

As if a light had switched off in his brain as soon as the car started Ivan’s smile dropped. He blankly looked out the window, leaning his head against the glass to watch as they drove away. Yao’s eyes flicked back and forth from his friend to the road as they drove, anxiety was welling in his stomach.

“Are you okay?” Yao asked his tone was soft as he tried to be gentle. He knew Ivan was kind of… inexperienced when it came to anything emotional. 

Ivan blinked a few times, not taking his eyes off the side of the road. 

“Of course, why would I not be?” Ivan’s voice is quiet and he sounded almost exhausted at speaking. 

“You sound tired.” 

Ivan’s lips upturned into a shaky smile.

“I am.” 

Things were silent the rest of the drive, neither of them turned on the radio as they continued to go down the road. The drive was short, the streets were empty because of the time of night and Yao sped home, his eyes growing heavy with sleep. 

They pulled up to Yao’s home. As expected all the lights were out and all the houses around it were as equally dark. He turned off the car and turned to Ivan. 

“Do you want to come inside?” He offered. 

Ivan nodded, unspeaking as he opened the car door. 

The two of them walked inside and Yao shut the door behind them. 

“Is Kiku home?” Ivan asked. His tone was so tired and it sounded like he was straining to speak. 

“Hmm? No, he’s staying with Ludwig and Feliciano tonight.” Yao answered. 

He turned to Ivan and instantly his stomach clenched in worry as he noticed the taller man had tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Ivan are you-?” Yao reached out a hand unsure of what to do, maybe just to comfort his friend? But he pulled back as Ivan flinched then reach up to cover his mouth as the tears started pouring from his eyes. 

Oh jeez. 

“Come on, come on sit down with me.” Yao took a step forward, gently taking Ivan’s hand and he led him to his room. Ivan went without a fight, following him as Yao led him to his bed. 

Ivan was covering his mouth with his hand as he sat down, trying so hard to stifle the small hiccups as he cried. 

“What’s wrong?” Yao was sitting as well now, in front of him on the bed. He watched as his friend tried to hard to stop crying but couldn’t stop what had already started. He reached out a hand to grab Ivan’s free fingers. He gently stroked his thumb up and down the length of Ivan’s hand, trying his best to be comforting without overstepping his boundaries. 

“It’s stupid, I’m stupid.” Ivan was obviously frustrated with himself. Yao had seen him cry before; the man did tend to cry when overwhelmed. He was always so angry at himself for showing any emotion like this.

“Ivan you have to tell me what’s wrong for me to help.” Yao said softly, continuing to hold Ivan’s hand. 

“I don’t know what is wrong with me.” Ivan’s voice was strained and upset, obviously he was trying to keep himself from crying but it was far too late now. Tears ran freely down Ivan’s cheeks and with his free hand he switched from rubbing his eyes roughly to covering his mouth. 

“I’m- I’m horrible-.” It was getting harder for Ivan to speak, “did you see how he- looked at me?” 

Yao was drawing a blank but then he remembered their encounter with Toris and his heart sunk. Yes, yes he did see how he looked at Ivan. Fear in his eyes, his hands white knuckled as they grasped onto the book he was holding. 

“Why can’t I be- a good person- why do I- Why do I terrify everyone I’m around- I can never say right thing.” He seemed like he was having a hard time finding the words he wanted to say. His heavy breathing was making it hard to speak. 

Yao didn’t know how to respond. He was never good with his words, never had been, and probably never would be. His words always got caught in his throat and he fumbled when he tried to speak. So he responded to Ivan the only way he could think to, he crawled forward and wrapped his arms around Ivan’s waist, burying his face in Ivan’s chest as he hugged him tightly. 

Ivan must have been taken off guard because for a few moments his crying stopped. Yao at first thought this maybe had helped, but soon he realized he might have just made things worse- Ivan’s body was stiff, his arms were feet away from him in a shocked rigid pose. The man didn’t return his hug nor did he react at all. He was stiff as a statue and Yao looked up to see Ivan’s face frozen in a confused shock. 

Yao started to pull away quickly, hoping the short hug wasn’t going to ruin things- maybe he could still comfort Ivan- Salvage something here. But before Yao could get even an inch away from his friend he felt arms suddenly wrapping around him, pulling him into a tight hug and Ivan’s sobs redoubled. 

The man buried his face into Yao’s shoulder and his entire body was shaking with sobs. Yao put more strength into his hug, rubbing Ivan’s back as the man trembled. 

“I do- I don’t want to go- go back to that h- house.” Ivan was gasping every few words. 

“You don’t have to, not tonight.” Yao promised, his tone soft. 

Ivan nodded into his shoulder weakly, his sobs were slowly stopping and they just now consisted of small hiccups and sniffs. Despite the fact that Ivan was obviously calmed down from his sobbing fit, he still didn’t move from Yao’s arms. The man kept Yao close and whenever Yao shifted Ivan would pull him back- as if he was afraid his friend was going to leave him. 

“Ivan I’m not going anywhere I promise- but you have to let up just a bit- you are crushing my spin.” 

That seemed to snap Ivan out of whatever was in his head. He let go and Yao took a loud breath now that his lungs were free to Ivan’s tight arms. 

Ivan’s eyes were red and his nose puffy, he reached up and rubbed away at the remaining tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize.” 

Ivan looked guilty as he stared at the floor, unable to look Yao in the eyes. 

“I’m going to go get you some water, but I’ll be back, I promise.” 

Ivan nodded. 

As Yao walked to the kitchen he thought about how grateful he was that the things they had bought wasn’t anything that could melt. He was too tired to go out and bring all the stuff in. His eyes were already drooping with sleep. Junk food, bread, vodka, that could all be left for another time. 

He got two cups of water and walked back into his room. When he returned to his room Ivan was already asleep. The tall man was snoring away on Yao’s large bed and Yao didn’t hesitate to join him. He set the water on his bedside table and didn’t bother changing his clothes as he crawled up next to Ivan. He grabbed the blankets from the foot of the bed and covered the two of them. 

Scooting forward Yao placed himself so he was lying on Ivan’s chest as a pillow, Ivan was just awake enough to wrap his arms around Yao and with that Yao closed his eyes.


End file.
